Okay, so thankfully I won’t be totally on my own. My Mom arrives on Friday and will be here for three weeks. I’m hoping it will be a nice step between both DH and I being home and me being home by myself come January.
Still though – it scares me that I’m getting closer to being on my own. My big worry right now is the feeding. Evan is getting fed primarily by the bottle, and I am pumping. That means I’ll need to find time to pump when Evan is not preparing to eat, eating, or screaming/trying to calm down after eating. Right now, DH is usually feeding him or holding him while I do it. Evan seems to have a radar to the pump, and practically every time I try it when he’s sleeping or calm, he starts crying/screaming/etc..
I worry about other stuff too – like how am I going to console him all day long? DH and I switch off so we can get a break and eat, have a shower, go to the bathroom, and do simple chores around the house. How the heck am I going to do it all on my own? I can seriously see it coming down to me having to choose between having a very quick bite to eat (i.e. a granola bar) or brushing my teeth.
I’m sure we’ll figure out a new normal, but right now I’m frickin’ terrified!!