The Best Advice

A post over at Ask Moxie asks what was the best advice you got or most helpful thing that happened to you in the first month of parenthood. There are a LOT of great things in the comments, so I suggest heading over and taking a gander!

It got me thinking of the best thing that happened to me early on in my mommy-dom.

No question, it was one of my friends simply saying “it is what it is” (no, Mom & Dad, it wasn’t your son!) when I told her that we couldn’t get breast feeding established.

Many of you know that I was filled with guilt over this. I was worried that we would lose out on that precious bonding time people are always talking about, and what people would think if they saw me feeding Evan from a bottle (even though it was breast milk). So, I forced myself to keep trying even though it was making us both miserable.

I think it was about 4 weeks in when we went to visit friends of ours and their then 7 month old daughter. She (the mom, not the daughter) asked how things were going, and I immediately went into this long rant/sob story about the breast feeding thing. She looked at me with sympathy, but just said “Well, it is what it is. Just do what you can and don’t worry about it!”.

I was flabbergasted! I was so scared that other moms would judge me for not breast feeding. But here she was, not saying that I wasn’t trying hard enough or that it will come, but being supportive and understanding! And what I loved the most about the situation was that she was so laid back about it.

It really made me realize that, even though we think our decisions are life and death right now, in the long run they really don’t make a huge difference. Yes, I was disappointed I couldn’t breast feed, but there were a million other ways I could bond with my son. I tried my best, it didn’t work, so we moved on. It’s a wonderful, freeing feeling to think that way.

What was the best advice you’ve ever received (about parenting or otherwise)?

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Comments on: "The Best Advice" (7)

  1. That's a great story Alyssa! I'm not sure what the best advice I ever received was, I'll have to think about it!

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  2. Try for perfection.

    LOL I'm just kidding!!! My best advice has probably just been:
    “Remember it is just a stage, it will end. Good or bad it will end.”

    I think especially in the first year when things change so much and so fast it is easy to get frustrated or overly comfortable with different stages and reminding myself that it could all change tomorrow helps:)

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  3. Mine's the same as Ash's – “Everything is just a phase.” every phase will come to an end sometime. It really helped me through those times when I was beginning to despair, not knowing how much longer I could do this (be it BFing, solids, sleepless nights, etc).

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  4. Anonymous said:

    Best advice, for older kids 2+, is that this is your child and not your friend. it is fine if you are “buddies”, but you need to be able to be consistent and firm about key bad behaviour (and let little things slide) as well as praise for good behavior.

    The other best advice was how to properly do a time out. I didn't want to go for my parents more old school discipline.

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  5. The best advice I heard was that even if I didn't have much experience with kids prior to my son's birth, no one knew my son better than I (well, we) did.

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  6. These are great! Thanks for sharing!

    Amy – aw, thanks!!

    Like

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