Coming to Terms

It’s now less than two months before I start my new job (no news to post about that yet, unfortunately, as it’s still not “official” – though I’m getting all the meeting notes, am going to an event this week, and my name is going on conference abstracts). I’m not sure I’m ready to go back, but I guess most mothers feel the same way.

For the past week, I’ve been dreading it so much that I considered not taking the job and staying at home with Evan. But, thinking about it more, that’s just not what I want to do. Sure, I really wish I was able to take full advantage of the 1-year maternity leave here in Canada, but am I willing to give up this opportunity because I have to start work a couple months earlier than I would like? The answer is no.

The great thing is they are being incredibly flexible with my needs because I’m doing them a favor by starting work earlier than I have too. I’ll be working strictly from home in June and July, and potentially August. After that, I will probably work something out where I can be working from home some of the time.

Evan doesn’t start daycare until August, and even then I’m considering starting him on a part-time basis so it’s an easier transition. Him being at home while I’m working very well might pose a problem, so I am considering hiring a mother’s helper or something to help out with him (any tips or suggestions on this?).

I am worried that I’ll be having to work extended hours, in the evenings and weekends, and have to travel all the time. I know that I need to hammer out these details with my future boss so he knows what I’m willing to do and I know what his expectations are.

I am worried about going back to work, and wondering if it’s the best thing for Evan and our family. But, as with any big change, I think it’s worth it to see how it goes. If worse comes to worse, I can always leave the job. I just need to come to terms with my feelings about all of this, and that it’s okay to not be 100% excited about it. After all, my priorities in life have changed over the past few months, so it makes sense that my expectations for a job would too.

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Comments on: "Coming to Terms" (5)

  1. It is so hard to think about it! And it's really hard to do, at first. It's taken me about two weeks to adjust to each new childcare/work situation I've been in and after that it's always been a positive. Your job sounds perfect–really flexible! It is a good idea to go over your expectations of travel and late nights with your boss so everyone knows what to expect. And it is definitely a good idea to have a mother's helper come while you are working at home. I find it very difficult to settle down and concentrate when the kids are around, even if they are asleep and I'm the only one home!

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  2. I think I was more stressed about leaving Monkey than actually going back to work. I was ready for something to work my brain out some, but it's taken a while to get over some of the guilt. In the end, I feel like I'm a much better mom since I have time for myself (even if it is work). It will definitely take a while to get all the kinks worked out. But you'll be able to figure out pretty quickly (probably a few weeks, like Becca said) if the decision is really the right one.

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  3. I hope it all works out and you have an easy transition!

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  4. I went to back to work full-time and we have her in a home daycare part-time and the transition went really well. It took a few weeks to adjust but it turned out perfect for us. She now loves her daycare and her friends there. It has really helped her social skills and it makes me feel less guilty knowing she is well taken care of and having a fun time. I would definitely talk to your boss about the travel stuff and the extended work hours. Hope you have an easy transition like we did.

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  5. Becca – yeah, I can't imagine trying to work at home AND having to take care of Evan. The problem I'm finding is even if we hire a helper for $10/hour, that's $80/day! So expensive!

    MDO – that's what I'm more worried about too. That's why I'm thinking of starting him part-time and easing him (well, me :P) into it.

    Amy – thanks!

    jrose – do you work part-time from home then? If so, how do you find working at home with her?

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