Please tell me that this won’t last forever. Every time Evan gets sick, I do too. So, I end up missing work or working from home when he’s sick and then again when I’m sick three days later.

Evan isn’t sick right now*, but he is not feeling well due to at least three teeth coming in. He has, shall we say, loose stools. If he has two in one day at daycare, we have to pick him up. He can’t go back until he’s had a normal movement (I’m trying my best not to use gross words!).

It’s kind of frustrating and there’s a part of me that resents having to put my life on hold to have to be at home. There’s a part of me that feels guilty for feeling that way, and another part that feels guilty for having to stay home YET AGAIN.

Parents: how did you deal with these feelings of resentment/guilt (if you had/have them)?

WW Photo

Fig. 1: Evan gets his first haircut!

*Scratch that – it seems he has a stomach bug. Fun.

Comments on: "Sick…again" (9)

  1. It's kind of frustrating and there's a part of me that resents having to put my life on hold to have to be at home. There's a part of me that feels guilty for feeling that way, and another part that feels guilty for having to stay home YET AGAIN.

    Parents: how did you deal with these feelings of resentment/guilt (if you had/have them)?

    I feel like this all the time, I think it's pretty normal for working parents. This is horrible to say, but whenever one of my kids get sick, my reaction is invariably a mixture of feeling bad for the poor guy (because he's miserable) and sheer anger/frustration (because I will have to yet again drop everything for days to stay home). Often there are looming deadlines and teaching that I cannot skip, which means a lot of scheduling gymnastics and having to work at night to make the target… Which does increase the chances that I too, due to a weakened immune system from lack of sleep, will come down with whatever the kid had in the first place. I completely hear you, it is very frustrating.

    But I promise you it gets better. In my experience, the first year in a childcare setting is brutal, they really get sick a lot. But then I guess they get immunity to most of the resident bugs and they are really fine, don't get sick nearly as much any more. And all this immunity serves them well in elementary school too.

    Hang in there!


  2. I used to get sick everytime for the first year that monkey was in DC.
    In regards to the guilt, its totally normal and you just have to accept that its a useless emotion. No matter what choice you make, you'll feel guilty about the other option. Which I know isn't helpful. I guess I just realized that I've made these choices because they're what is best for me and my family. There is a reason you're taking the time off and the mr isn't. Remind yourself of that. You also chose this job because it was compatible with having a family – remind yourself of that too.

    Hope you and E get better soon


  3. GMP – that's exactly the way I feel: sorry for the poor little guy for being sick, but annoyed/frustrated about having to stay home. I tend to have a lot of meetings, which means having to reschedule. I do hope you're right about it getting easier in a few months!

    ScientistMother – I definitely need to “go with the flow” a bit more with these things. Perhaps because it's only happened a couple of times, I'm just not used to it? Hopefully it'll get easier as it happens more. Luckily, DH has the flexibility to take time off as well. So, we often alternate or even split days, depending on our work schedules. He's at home today because I had a meeting I couldn't reschedule and a grant to submit today. If Evan's sick tomorrow, then I'll stay home. It's nice to be able to balance that, because I could see a lot of resentment building up around one person having to stay home all the time.


  4. Yes, it gets better. I can hardly remember the last time I had to keep my 4 year old home from day care.

    And yes, it is incredibly frustrating to have to leave work with a sick kid. And then you feel guilty for feeling frustrated, but I think that is only natural. Just make sure you and your husband are splitting the sick kid duty if you can- that is a big help to keeping your sanity and also smoothing things out at work.

    For the tummy bugs… try a probiotic to help get things back to normal faster. We used Culturelle. We cracked open the capsule and mixed it with the bland applesauce or whatever we were feeding her. If we were still on breastmilk only (because nothing else stayed down), I'd mix some in with some expressed milk.

    Oh, and my husband and I would take it, too. I swear it helps. The scientific data on this, though, is limited.


  5. Cloud – thankfully, both DH and I have flexible schedules, so we can share the sick kid duty relatively evenly. Thanks for the tip on the Culturelle! Is that safe for babies under a year?


  6. Probiotics are great, I occasionally take them too. Just Life brand Acidophilus tablets. Not good for Evan, though, unfortunately. Sorry the poor guy is sick again 😦 Hope you're all feeling better soon!

    PS – he's such a handsome little man! Was he nervous about the hair cut?


  7. Andrea – I have Acidophilus around the house, I should remember to take it for myself! He did okay at the haircut – got fussy a couple times, but was easily distracted by toys 🙂


  8. Our pediatrician started recommending Culturelle for us from the time Pumpkin was a few weeks old, and we first had thrush (you can put it in the baby's mouth and on your nipples and it works great to clear up thrush- better than nystatin, in my experience). So I'd guess that it is fine for babies under a year. Certainly, we used it on babies under a year…..


  9. Cloud – that's good to know! I'll definitely check it out.


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