We’re starting to get a bit worried about our lack of plans for Evan for when I go into labour. We don’t have family around that we can call any time, day or night. We also aren’t comfortable with asking anyone to be on call 24/7 for several weeks (because who knows when Jelly Bean will decide to make his arrival? He could be six weeks early or two weeks late).
Worst case scenario is that DH takes care of Evan – but that means he most likely won’t be with me during the birth.
If you have more than one child, what did you do with them when you went into labour (especially for those of you who are in the same boat as us and don’t have family in town)?

Comments on: "Labour Plans: Older Child(ren)" (12)

  1. We took him with in the delivery room. I also saw my little sister getting born. But my DC1 was 5 and I was just turned 6 when my sister was born. 3 might be more difficult, especially if it's a long labor.

    We did have my mom staying with us near the time of the birth. My father was working in another city when my sister was born and my mom had a friend and a doula to support her, though the doula didn't actually make it to the hospital on time. (We have fast labors in my family.)

    I forget, is Evan at daycare? Would it be possible to arrange something with one of the daycare people? For enough extra money someone might be willing to go on call, or maybe you could ask a series of people.


  2. Anonymous said:

    It's tough being far from family at times like these — any chance your mother or MIL would like to come for an extended visit so you'd have help on hand both for labor and post-delivery? Would be no help if you go surprisingly early, of course, but if all goes as planned it might be a great help to have a family member helping out with Evan after you come home with the baby.


  3. Anonymous said:

    No ideas here, but FSP has a recent post on this same topic:


  4. My husband staying with the older kid(s) at home with deliveries 2 and 3. With the second one, water broke when I was making dinner, he and eldest son took me to the hospital in the evening and I spent the night laboring, had baby 2 early morning. With baby 3, I woke up at 4 am due to kid 2 crying (no reason apparently, he went right back to bed) but I could not get back to sleep as contractions had started. Hub took me to hospital at 6-ish (older boys stayed alone briefly) and went back, I delivered a little after 10.

    While I really appreciated DH being with me with baby 1, as everything was new and scary, I actually appreciated him staying with the kids and me laboring alone, as I didn't want to have to worry about him or the kid(s) being bored or scared. There's something to be said about being left alone and not have to worry about anyone else when you are in pain.

    These days, I just consider labor something to go through. As long as it's safe and everyone's healthy, the details don't really matter. Good luck!


  5. I had my parents fly in around 38.5 weeks. Before that I had a good friend (with older kids) on call–she offered, and I accepted only because she didn't have babies/toddlers. I couldn't have my 21-month-old in the delivery room with me, that wasn't an option. I ended up delivering at 40.5 weeks.


  6. If you have a few friends you think you could ask, could you ask them to pick a week (or even less time) each when they'd be around and available? That way you're covered for your entire several-week window, but it's not too much of a burden for any one person.

    Don't be shy about asking – I have several friends I would be happy to help out in this way, although I'm not sure that all of them would necessarily feel like they could ask! (My friends are all very polite, and mostly over-thinkers, just like me!)


  7. nicoleandmaggie – we do have a babysitter we get sometimes who works at Evan's daycare, so we're going to ask her.


  8. There are a number of reasons we're not going with that option 🙂 One being that we want to be alone to bond as a family of four for a number of weeks after the birth.


  9. GMP – thank you for sharing your experience. This is our back-up plan (DH takes care of Evan while I labour) and it is so nice to hear that other people have done it too.


  10. ana – I could potentially see Evan being in the delivery room with us, but my worry is if things don't go well (with him or me) we'll need some sort of back up.


  11. Cath – “My friends are all very polite, and mostly over-thinkers…” – yup, that's me! I just don't feel comfortable with asking friends (family, sure, but they're not around!).


  12. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts! We have some sort of plan for when I go into labour. If I'm 37+ weeks along and all goes well, we'll be doing a home birth and Evan will be there for it (or at least in the house).

    If I go before 37 weeks or if things aren't going as planned with the homebirth, we have two people as “back up”: one is a woman at Evan's daycare who has babysat him before, the other is a friend of mine. Hopefully one of them will be available.

    Worst-case scenario is that Evan comes to the hospital with us and DH takes care of him, OR DH stays home with him, while I'm in labour. Not ideal, as I'd obviously like DH with me, but there will be at least 2 midwives present, so I would have good support from them.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: