I’ve been experiencing a very different pattern with this pregnancy, which has been unexpected and relieving.
First, I get the typical questions – When are you due? Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl? How are you feeling?
Then, it’s always “Is this your first?”
Last time around, when I answered this question with “yes”, I would get the motherly-looks and out came the barrage of advice and you-don’t-know-what-you’re-in-for looks/comments/stories.
This time, when I say “no, it’s my second”, that’s generally where it stops! No advice, no horror stories, no your-life-is-going-to-change comments. People seem to get that a been-there-done-that mom isn’t in need — nor does she want — unsolicited advice.
Yes, there have been people who’ve made comments about having two boys (you’re going to be busy! Get ready for lots of fighting!), but it hasn’t been nearly as intrusive as the first time around.
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Comments on: "The "Second" Shielding Effect" (4)

  1. So that's the secret! Maybe when the magical day comes that I actually manage to get, and stay, knocked up, I'll just lie and tell everyone that it's my 2nd 😉

    Glad this aspect of things has been going better!

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  2. Yes, this is true! Though, on the negative side, people seemed a lot less sympathetic and less likely to open doors/give up seats/help in any way a pregnant woman with a young toddler in tow. As if I was some kind of uber-fertile (ha!) having baby after baby…I also remember being, for one of the few times ever, acutely aware of being not-white during this time.

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  3. spacepotatoes – definitely do it!

    ana – that's awful on both accounts 😦

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  4. Wait until you have 3! The comments become “oh boy! You will have your hands full!” or “Are you going for 5?” and other obnoxious things. I think 2 is the perfect number!

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