I can’t believe it’s been over six months since my stroke. I am pretty much back to my old self, except with shorter hair and I get hit harder than I used to with fatigue when I’m not sleeping well (hence my last post).
I go longer and longer without having days where I get upset about it all. I can think about it, even the worst parts, without getting worked up, anxious, or depressed. I can talk about it and tell my story and feel like it’s at arms length, not right in my face all the time. I no longer feel like I’m “stroke” Alyssa. I”m just me again, and that’s a great feeling
That being said, there are some unaddressed issues that still need to be addressed. For example, it’s hard for me to untie Carter from the stroke. I also still mourn not being able to bond with him that first month. I feel like we’re not as close as we could be because of this (or because of how hard I get hit with fatigue, which happens a lot with a baby who isn’t a great sleeper). I do get scared every so often that it will happen again. I’m going to be seeking out counselling to work through these things.
I still think about somehow getting involved with other stroke survivors. I might actually try to incorporate this into my year at teacher’s college. There is a two-week portion of the program where we can do basically whatever we want as long at it involved education in some way (to get us to find out what else we will be qualified to do besides teach in the classroom). I might see if I can work with stroke patients.