Holy moly – l feel like I just ran a marathon through a hurricane without eating the week before.
Yesterday, I was on the verge of tears all day (and went over the edge a number of times). I called and emailed as many people I could to just to talk too. This has happened a few times in the last couple of weeks. It’s to the point where I’m wondering if I have some PPD, if it’s something physical, or leftovers from the stroke (I’ll be going to my family doctor today to hopefully figure this out).
What I do know is lack of sleep is my trigger every time. If I get one bad night of sleep, then I’m grumpy and easily annoyed, but if I get two bad nights in a row, I crash. I become a sobbing mess. I just can’t handle anything.
Then, when I get one good night of sleep (like last night), I feel so much better. I can go about my day relatively normally, with a few hiccups here and there. Even better, if I get two good nights in row, I feel amazing and ready to conquer the world! This is when I put together Evan’s 3rd year book in 1-2 days, or get the energy to do 5 loads of laundry, walk Evan home from daycare, cook dinner, do bedtime for Evan, and not blink an eye – and am happy most of the day.
So, regardless of what label we’ll end up putting on my “lows”, I know sleep is the biggest factor.
I’ve known since my stroke that I can’t deal with lack of sleep nearly as well as before. I don’t know if that will ever recovery fully. It’s also hard to measure, since things are just busier now with two kids.
DH has been amazing through all of this, and is offering to basically do Carter-care every night so I can get a good sleep. It’s working and I’m feeling better, but I also feel guilty about it (of course :P). I just need to remind myself that if I’m feeling better, then our house will be happier. Hopefully either Carter starts sleeping better*, or I can start handling a bad night here and there better so I can help out more at night.
*I’ll be taking Carter to the paediatrician tomorrow to get a few questions answered about his eating, sleeping, and other things. Hopefully that will help too.