Hi – it’s been a while.
Without getting into too many details, the start of my career in the public education sector has been pretty bumpy. Severe anxiety and several off-the-charts panic attacks have led to me take a leave of absence only 3 months in.
Needless to say, there was a lot that I was not prepared for or to handle. With my time off, I am trying to learn to fill my own cup before running on empty. The old “put your oxygen mask on before helping someone else” idea is definitely something I need to focus on if I want to be successful in this career.
Things I have been doing that have been helpful are:
- yoga multiple times a week
- learning the art of meditation
- seeing a new counsellor
- starting medication again (same one I was on during teacher’s college).
One thing that I have been doing that has not be helpful is relaxing too much. I find that I can get drawn into excessive laziness where I’m just scanning Facebook over and over, watching mindless TV that I don’t really care about, eating junk, and napping.
That might sound like a good thing after what I’ve been through, but after a day like that (such as today) I feel groggy, even more tired, and grumpy. It does not fill my cup.
I need to have productive times so that relaxation time is time to wind down (it’s hard to wind down from a lowest energy state). There is a list of things I’d like to do/get done that are simple/easy tasks but are also productive:
- Christmas baking
- Create C’s 3rd year book
- Making some phone calls that I’ve need to do for months
- Looking for new recipes
So, the plan is to 1) get out of the house at least once per day to do something (hopefully enjoyable) as per my doctor’s orders, and 2) do at least 1 thing productive per day.
I’m unsure when I’ll return to work (but now in week 3 of my leave, I’m finally able to think about it without going into a panic attack), but I want to feel strong and ready to handle the unpredictable nature of the game.