Filling My Cup

Hi – it’s been a while.

Without getting into too many details, the start of my career in the public education sector has been pretty bumpy. Severe anxiety and several off-the-charts panic attacks have led to me take a leave of absence only 3 months in.

Needless to say, there was a lot that I was not prepared for or to handle. With my time off, I am trying to learn to fill my own cup before running on empty. The old “put your oxygen mask on before helping someone else” idea is definitely something I need to focus on if I want to be successful in this career.

Things I have been doing that have been helpful are:

  • yoga multiple times a week
  • learning the art of meditation
  • reading
  • knitting
  • seeing a new counsellor
  • starting medication again (same one I was on during teacher’s college).

One thing that I have been doing that has not be helpful is relaxing too much. I find that I can get drawn into excessive laziness where I’m just scanning Facebook over and over, watching mindless TV that I don’t really care about, eating junk, and napping.

That might sound like a good thing after what I’ve been through, but after a day like that (such as today) I feel groggy, even more tired, and grumpy. It does not fill my cup.

I need to have productive times so that relaxation time is time to wind down (it’s hard to wind down from a lowest energy state). There is a list of things I’d like to do/get done that are simple/easy tasks but are also productive:

  • Christmas baking
  • Create C’s 3rd year book
  • Cleaning
  • Making some phone calls that I’ve need to do for months
  • Looking for new recipes

So, the plan is to 1) get out of the house at least once per day to do something (hopefully enjoyable) as per my doctor’s orders, and 2) do at least 1 thing productive per day.

I’m unsure when I’ll return to work (but now in week 3 of my leave, I’m finally able to think about it without going into a panic attack), but I want to feel strong and ready to handle the unpredictable nature of the game.

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Comments on: "Filling My Cup" (4)

  1. I’m so sorry to hear the new career is off to a rough start. I hear you on the mindless time wasting thing. I get drawn into that sometimes and it never leaves me happy. There is some social media that energizes me and makes me feel better and there is some that just saps my time and energy away. It is hard to get the balance right.

    I am glad you’re doing better, and hope you keep getting better still.

    Like

    • Thanks, Cloud – nice to hear from you on this side of the blogosphere! It is definitely hard to get the social media balance right. It might be especially tough for our generation, who grew up without it, and are now trying to navigate through it’s usefulness and stresses.

      Like

  2. […] was teaching grade 11 and 12 physics, and the contract was until the end of January. Unfortunately, I had to leave early due to overwhelming stress/anxiety. I’ll get back into the game when I’m ready, but will only be supply […]

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  3. […] so I am trying to take advantage as much as I can.  I have been continuing to do the things in my initial post about my leave, and have achieved some of the goals I listed there (baking, new recipes, making phone […]

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