Archive for the ‘helping others’ Category
Well, here’s a start: for those of you in Canada who are fed up with the Federal Government (recent budget cuts, Bill C-38, etc.), there will be an online protest on June 4th where websites all across Canada will be going dark. Get more information on the Black Out Speak Out website. My post on June 4th will be a banner from that site.
It got me thinking of the best thing that happened to me early on in my mommy-dom.
No question, it was one of my friends simply saying “it is what it is” (no, Mom & Dad, it wasn’t your son!) when I told her that we couldn’t get breast feeding established.
Many of you know that I was filled with guilt over this. I was worried that we would lose out on that precious bonding time people are always talking about, and what people would think if they saw me feeding Evan from a bottle (even though it was breast milk). So, I forced myself to keep trying even though it was making us both miserable.
I think it was about 4 weeks in when we went to visit friends of ours and their then 7 month old daughter. She (the mom, not the daughter) asked how things were going, and I immediately went into this long rant/sob story about the breast feeding thing. She looked at me with sympathy, but just said “Well, it is what it is. Just do what you can and don’t worry about it!”.
I was flabbergasted! I was so scared that other moms would judge me for not breast feeding. But here she was, not saying that I wasn’t trying hard enough or that it will come, but being supportive and understanding! And what I loved the most about the situation was that she was so laid back about it.
It really made me realize that, even though we think our decisions are life and death right now, in the long run they really don’t make a huge difference. Yes, I was disappointed I couldn’t breast feed, but there were a million other ways I could bond with my son. I tried my best, it didn’t work, so we moved on. It’s a wonderful, freeing feeling to think that way.
What was the best advice you’ve ever received (about parenting or otherwise)?
A lot of time was spent discussing what the signs are for depression and what can be done to help, such as making students aware of the issues in the first place, knowing who to call for help on campus, and being sympathetic.
Although it was interesting, I was left feeling even more confused on how to deal with these types of situations. How do we as teachers (i.e., not trained psychologists, psychiatrists, etc.) tell the difference between a student who is just having a rough day from one who is truly suffering? What about students who try to take advantage of such situations (for example, I went to school with someone who’s “grandmother” died 3 times – all during exam times)? How are we supposed to know when to just lend a sympathetic ear, or when a student needs more than that?
Has anyone else been to a workshop like this one? Did you get any concrete advice?
Has anyone had to deal with such a situation in their classroom or lab? If so, then what did you do? Did you feel you did the right thing?
In a more general sense – do you believe that more people suffer from depression these days, or is it just more accepted/more diagnosed?
I received another email from them this morning. I quickly looked at the paper and the relevant parts of my thesis, and sent them back an answer. I didn’t walk them through the whole thing, but I told them what I thought was enough information to move forward.
Well…I’ve now received two more emails from the student, asking very specific questions about the analysis, including questions about specific numbers.
Umm…..hello? Do they not understand I’m not here to guide them through the analysis process??? First of all, I did that analysis 6-7 years ago, and I’ve changed fields twice since then, so it’s not like I’m immersed in similar data analysis or techniques. Second of all, if someone is kind enough to answer your questions, you don’t shoot back even more annoying questions at them! Third – as everyone who regularly reads my blog knows – I DON’T GIVE A SHIT about research. So, I don’t keep all these nitty gritty details in my head, to be made available at any second where someone might ask me about it.
I’m sorry that their supervisor obviously is no help whatsoever, but how is that my problem? I just want to either a) ignore them or b) tell them to screw off, but I’m guessing either choice wouldn’t be particularly nice of me. The problem is for me to be able to answer the questions they are asking now, I would have to do some serious searching around — using time I don’t really have since I have about a million things on my plate right now (all that must be done in 5 months before Baby G arrives).
Note: this is my 300th post! I wanted it to be “special”, but instead it’s this. I hope to post before and after shots of our kitchen soon though!!
St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital
Share Our Strength
Puffy Paws Kitty Haven
Doctors Without Borders
Habitat for Humanity
The Buckland Family Trust (no website, but you can donate via Paypal – just scroll down to the bottom of the link)
Free the Slaves
To Write Love on Her Arms
Give Kids the World
If you want to donate to any of these charities, please go through the Cake Wrecks website so that Jen can get closer to her fundraising goals. She has listed all the charities here, along with how to donate.