I was never warned of so many things about adult life. Why isn’t there some kind of handbook or something given out when we become adults (I don’t give an age, because that clearly happens at VERY different ages for different people)?
One thing I’ve learned, mostly in the past 5-ish years since E was born, is that even though if most things in life are good, everything sucks if one BIG thing sucks. Major stress in one aspect of life really overflows into every other aspect.
Right now, not having a job, and looking for one, SUCKS. I am stressed about working (or not working), when that will happen, IF it will happen, if I should hold out for a teaching job (and if so, then how long) or if I should try to find something else. But, finding SOMETHING just ANYTHING doesn’t feel good to me either.
Of course, one big overflow stress related to (no) job stress is money stress. Thankfully DH makes enough to cover our expenses. But, we DO have to watch what we’re spending, and can only have C in daycare part time, and E only in before school care come September. We can’t move forward with any of our plans that involve money. We’re just at a standstill, which is super frustrating.
Putting those together, I just feel like an unproductive member of our family and our community. I’m a person who NEEDS to work. It gives me much needed definition and purpose in my life, and I know I’m much happier when I’m working.
And me not being happy certainly overflows over into the rest of my life. I don’t seem to find enjoyment in much these days, because the no-job/lack-of-money thing overshadows it all. I’m lesson patient and loving with my family, and can barely enjoy my hobbies that have always brought me joy.
The worst part is I get jealous to the point of not being happy for people who ARE having a good time in life. I just can’t right now because there is no foreseeable end to this suckiness that is a job-hunt.
I know I should have expected this when I decided to go down the long path of switching careers to become a teacher in this province, but it still SUCKS.