Archive for the ‘life in general people’ Category

When 1 Thing Sucks, it All Sucks.

I was never warned of so many things about adult life. Why isn’t there some kind of handbook or something given out when we become adults (I don’t give an age, because that clearly happens at VERY different ages for different people)?

One thing I’ve learned, mostly in the past 5-ish years since E was born, is that even though if most things in life are good, everything sucks if one BIG thing sucks. Major stress in one aspect of life really overflows into every other aspect.

Right now, not having a job, and looking for one, SUCKS. I am stressed about working (or not working), when that will happen, IF it will happen, if I should hold out for a teaching job (and if so, then how long) or if I should try to find something else. But, finding SOMETHING just ANYTHING doesn’t feel good to me either.

Of course, one big overflow stress related to (no) job stress is money stress. Thankfully DH makes enough to cover our expenses. But, we DO have to watch what we’re spending, and can only have C in daycare part time, and E only in before school care come September. We can’t move forward with any of our plans that involve money. We’re just at a standstill, which is super frustrating.

Putting those together, I just feel like an unproductive member of our family and our community. I’m a person who NEEDS to work. It gives me much needed definition and purpose in my life, and I know I’m much happier when I’m working.

And me not being happy certainly overflows over into the rest of my life. I don’t seem to find enjoyment in much these days, because the no-job/lack-of-money thing overshadows it all. I’m lesson patient and loving with my family, and can barely enjoy my hobbies that have always brought me joy.

The worst part is I get jealous to the point of not being happy for people who ARE having a good time in life. I just can’t right now because there is no foreseeable end to this suckiness that is a job-hunt.

I know I should have expected this when I decided to go down the long path of switching careers to become a teacher in this province, but it still SUCKS.

Misery Wars

Misery wars are awesome, aren’t they? People sure love to one-up each other, or to downplay the excitement of others.

These misery wars tend to fall into a few categories (if you can think of others, please share!):

The “my-life-sucks-more-than-yours-so-ha” war: in which the second complainer “tops” the first complainer.

“Ugh, it’s so hot here!”
“Well, at least you only have to deal with dry heat. The humidity here makes it so much worse!”

The “know-it-all” war: in which someone who has been-there-done-that relays stories about how horrible what you’re about to go through will be.

“I didn’t sleep very well last night.”
“You should enjoy your time to yourself now – just wait until baby arrives!!”

The “I-can-make-anything-about-me” war: in which someone twists your innocent comment into a tragic story about their life.

“So excited to go to Vegas this weekend!”
“Flying sucks though – the last trip I went on they lost my bags and I didn’t get them until I got home. Totally ruined the trip. I hate traveling.”

The “mwa-mwaaaaaaaa” war (aka Debbie-Downer war): in which someone totally rains on your parade.

“We just bought a house!!”
“Sure, you’re excited now, but just wait until you get a leak in your basement, find mold in your attic, and have no money to spend on anything else.”

This competition has become even more evident in my life now that I’m expecting my first child. People just LOVE to tell me how much life is going to suck once the little one arrives. Here are just a few (real) examples:

“Only two more months of work left!”
“You think raising a kid won’t be work?”

“It will be so interesting to watch their development.”
“Yeah, until they’re teenagers and they’re telling you they hate you all the time.”

“You’re house is really nice. Just wait until the baby comes though – you’ll never live like this again”.

I want to get little trophies to give out to people who just love to win misery wars.

Good Role Model

A couple days ago DH and I were out and saw a woman wearing this t-shirt:

Figure 1: Classy t-shirt by Hustler (link from Amazon.com)

Now, I think I would have been offended if anyone was wearing this shirt, but this particular woman was with her two pre-teen daughters.

I don’t know – maybe I’m just super judgmental, but is that really the message you want to be sending to your kids? I mean, there are multiple things wrong with this in my mind: the language is tasteless (don’t we try to minimize this language around children?), it’s by Hustler (women should only be valued for their looks!), and it’s promoting violence as a cute thing (note the princess crown – eta: those are apparently brass knuckles. How sweet!). Not exactly setting up your daughters to be strong (of the mind) women.

What do you think?

Out of the Woodwork

We knew that our decision to stay here in London would get some remarks. For the past 2-3 years we’ve been saying we want to get out of here, that we don’t like it here, etc, etc., so it’s completely understandable that people would be surprised.

Once we explain why we made the decision though, many of our friends have said that they’re happy for us (as long as we’re happy) and that they’re glad we’re staying in town. In fact, I actually expected a lot more negative comments than we have received.

Of course, there have been the negative-ninnies, and I should have bet money on who they were going to be, because I would have made a pretty penny. These are the people that are not only surprised about our decision, and voice their opinions as such, but they then continue to ask rude questions or try to “rub it in” that we have (gasp!) changed our minds (even though we repeatedly admit that we are eating our words). These comments wouldn’t normally bother us, but it’s when they’re made after we explain our decision and admit that one can never say never that it becomes annoying. We know we called it wrong – let’s all get over it and move on.

The great thing about this is seeing who is supportive and happy for us, regardless of what we said before or how we came to our decision. We consider these people our true friends, and we greatly appreciate them and love them dearly! We’re also (shock!) looking forward to putting down our roots here, and we are already finding ways to improve our lives – like having dinner with friends more often, and starting a book club with a few other girls (yay!).

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