Archive for the ‘motherhood’ Category

The Over-The-Top Pout

Sometimes, when E starts a new class/activity we enrol him in, he complete shuts down, starts pouting, refused to take part, stands by a wall/on the sidelines, and just shakes his head while repeating “no” anytime someone tries to get him to participate.

Notice how I say sometimes. He does not do this with outdoor soccer, and not when he knows someone else (so we try to do that when we can). He usually does not start out this way. Instead, usually a game of tag or something will send him into this state.

Both DH and I are at the end of our ropes with this behaviour. When it happened when he was 2 or 3, we just assumed he’d grow out of it. But, he keeps doing it as he gets older, and it gets more annoying every time (and embarrassing too!).

We’ve tried positive strategies (talking it up before hand, getting him to choose  the activities, being super encouraging, offering rewards, etc.), neutral strategies (ignoring behaviour), and negative strategies (time outs, lecturing, taking away privileges).

Sometimes he’ll eventually and reluctantly start participating, but with an over-the-top-pout, continually looking at us (to make sure we know he’s not happy?), faking like he’s hurt, etc.. NOTHING seems to have the desired affect of getting him to participate in a positive way.

Any thoughts or tips?? HELP!!!

Fighting the Entitlement 

There has been a couple great videos going around about the problems our society is facing with the millennials. This one in particular is well-worth the 15 minutes if you haven’t seen it already:

 

I’ve seen or heard a number of discussions recently on how people with young children are fighting back against this trend. We are dong this by:

  • Saying no (probably) way more than yes
  • Teaching responsibility (with chores, saying sorry if you hurt someone, being mindful of surroundings, etc.)
  • Ensuring there are consequences (time outs when younger, taking away privileges, etc. as they get older)
  • Teaching good manners
  • Praising effort, not result (unless very special, like a first soccer goal)
  • Teaching delayed gratification
  • Ensuring they have independent play-time (not relying on us to entertain them)
  • Explaining why their behaviour is mean/rude/disrespectful/etc.

One thing I despise is when other adults say “it’s okay” or “it’s no big deal” when we’re trying to teach or discipline our kids in public. My stock response is usually “thank you, but our child is working on learning **insert skill here**”.

What kinds of strategies have you used to try and combat entitlement and the other traits that go along with it?

(Not) Listening

Okay all…I know I haven’t been blogging much, but boy, I need help!

C is right smack in the middle of his terrible 2’s, and it’s really, truly, terrible. I remember this stage being difficult for E, with a handful of major temper tantrums, and a lot of whining, but this is practically impossible to deal with.

E has always been a rule-follower. He tends to push right to the line, but rarely goes over. C, on the other hand, sprints over the line and jumps off the cliff backwards with his eyes closed.

He doesn’t listen to anything we say. He always says “no” to absolutely anything. He has extreme meltdowns regularly. Time outs don’t work. Positive-reinforcement doesn’t work. Negative-reinforcement doesn’t work. Yelling doesn’t work. Hugging doesn’t work. NOTHING WORKS.

I know my description of his behaviour probably sounds “normal” to everyone who’s had a 2-year-old, but please trust me in that this is completely different than anything I’ve ever seen.

Does anyone have any suggestions – techniques, websites, books, secluded institutes we can ship him off to, anything?

I NEED HELP, especially since summer is coming up and I’ll have both boys at home (ARRGH).

Changes for the Summer

I’m done teaching my university and college course, so I’m heading into the post-secondary summer (yay for 4 months!).

E will stop attending before/after school program starting tomorrow, and I’ll be walking him to and from school every day. I’m excited about it because a) it’ll force me to move and b) I get to spend some good 1-on-1 time with him.

C will be going back to part-time at the daycare and will be home with me on Tuesday/Thursday each week. This will allow me to have some nice 1-on-1 time with him as well.

I’m a bit nervous, because the summer last year was very hard for me because it was just TOO MUCH kid time after a very stressful and busy academic year. But, I’ve put some things into place that will hopefully make this summer more enjoyable:

  • I’m taking a couple additional qualification courses for teaching (special education and getting my physics teachable). This will help me make strides toward my goal of getting into a public school board, but shouldn’t be too stressful (I hope!)
  • I’ve registered E in 3 summer camps, so that’s 3 weeks with him out of the house and being around kids his age
  • Both sets of grandparents will be visiting
  • We have booked a cottage for a week
  • I have joined a women’s soccer team in the hopes it will motivate me to move more AND I get automatic social time every week

At the end of summer last year I was more frazzled than at the beginning and ended up taking a not-so-great job just so I could BE AWAY. So, here’s hoping this year will be better (and hopefully with some kind of decent employment in September.

All About C

The daycare asked us to provide something for a display they’re putting together about the kids called “All about me”. They want to include info about each kid both from the perspective of the staff and the parents.

So, here’s my input about C:

C is outgoing, energetic, and a risk-taker at heart. He knows what he wants and doesn’t back down, but he’s also very in-tune with the emotions of his friends and family. He can often be heard asking “what happened?” or “what’s wrong?” when someone is hurt or upset. He loves to make people laugh, and can be super silly! He seems to be relatively laid-back (for a 2-year old): things don’t tend to phase him too much.

_DSC0831

He love dinosaurs, cars, Lego, Paw Patrol, and his big brother. He hates eating at the table, going to nap (but he’s an awesome napper once asleep), not getting his way, and sometimes his big brother 😉

He thrives in the outdoors, and loves to explore. His favourite activity is to jump off anything he can climb onto and chase his brother (or us!) around. He LOVEs to rough-house with DH and E, but he loves to cuddle too.

His talking has exploded in the last couple of weeks, stringing together a couple sentences at a time. It seems like he asks more questions than making statements, like “what’s that?”, “what was that sound?”, “where did X go?”, and more. He’s definitely interested in learning about everything around him.

We’re looking forward to watching how he’ll change and grow as he moves from toddler to little boy.

 

Brotherly Love

E and I went winter boot shopping tonight after dinner (why can’t last year’s winter boots ever crap out at the beginning of the season when there are actually boots on sale?).

Anyway, on our way home, E said that when we were walking around the mall that he was sad.

“How come?”, I asked.

“I missed C.”.

“Aw, how come?”

“I just really like him.”, he said with tears in his eyes.

*melting heart ❤ ❤ , ❤ **

Ignoring or Avoiding?

I can’t decide if I’ve been ignoring or avoiding this blog. I miss it, and I am constantly coming up with thing to write about, but never end up doing it. I think this is for 2 reasons: 1) I know it takes time, and there are so many things going on that it drops down the priority list, and 2) I know my readership has dropped off because of lack of posts and writing just reminds me of that.

Anyway, I’m going to keep writing when I can because I enjoy it 🙂

First, an update on things!

I finished at the private high school before the Christmas break, and now I’m teaching at the local university (astronomy) and college (math). I’m quite enjoying these courses, and would like to keep teaching at this level.

This brings me to the most frustrating thing of all: jobs. I am still not in with the local school board (I ignorantly thought my 10+ years work experience in education and my own PhD+BEd education would get me in the door, but I was wrong). The university/college teaching jobs are term-to-term. so no stability there either. It can be super frustrating finally KNOWING what I want to do with my life and not have the options to actually DO it on a regular basis. But, I’ll keep plugging along and hope things continue to crop up, and eventually get a long-term post.

Family-wise, we’re deep into the terrible 2’s with C. And we thought E was bad when he was 2? Oh no…C is showing just what 2 can be to the extreme. His TTs are epic and nothing like I’ve ever seen. Thankfully, he can be really funny, happy, and just plain silly. He’s a huge risk taker too, which is much different than E.

E is amazing us with his intelligence lately. It’s awesome to witness his learning and how he LOVES to learn! He’s going through his own behaviour issues: he’s starting to talk back to us when we need to discipline him. This is very new to us, so we’re trying to get a handle on how to deal with it (most things seem to just make it worse).

Home-wise, we’re still flip-flopping on whether to do renovations or move. We agree our first step should be to get some designs and quotes on renovations to see if we can get what we need for a reasonable price. DH is going to a home show this weekend to connect with some contractors who can come and do this soon.

That’s our life right now – I hope that my posts will become more conversational rather than lists! How are you doing?

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: