Archive for the ‘open letter’ Category

Not Entertaining

Contrary to what many, many people in public may think, Evan isn’t there to entertain (or be entertained by) the masses. Just because he doesn’t respond to your inane baby talk, silly faces, or “cute” comments, doesn’t mean he’s tired, shy, or cranky. It means he’s uninterested, distracted, or just doesn’t give a shit. Move on and stop making an ass of yourself and, for God’s sake, don’t take it personally.

Hmm…this came across way more bitchy than I intended!! I just meant that people shouldn’t get upset when Evan doesn’t giggle/laugh/smile when trying to make him do so. Please don’t submit me to STFU, Parents! LOL!!

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Open Letter

Dear “VIPs”,

Using condescending language toward staff, or out-right ignoring them will not gain you respect or friends that could be useful down the road.

That is all.

Sincerely,
Lowly Staff Member

Open Letter

Dear London Drivers,

Why the constant need to inch forward at a red light?

First, you roll as slowly as possible toward the intersection. Why? You are not driving a semi truck that is difficult to start from a complete stop. You’re in a tiny little Honda, for God’s sake!

Then, if you ever do come to a stop, you inch forward at any chance you get. The car in front of you moves? You inch forward. The car beside you moves? You inch forward. The traffic coming the opposite way starts moving? You inch forward. You think the light might turn green? You inch forward.

STOP IT, ALREADY!!

By the time the light actually turns green, there is usually 10 car lengths between me and the car in front of me! And then…guess what?…no one starts moving!!

So, please – for my sanity (and the sanity of many others, I imagine), please stop with the inching and mind-reading of the light change. Just pay attention and drive. Please!!

An Open Letter

Dear People-Who-Have-Opinions-On-Everything,

Why do you feel that you must share your opinions on my life decisions, when it has nothing to do with you and affects you in no way what-so-ever?

I don’t need to be told that I’m “giving up my career for some guy” or that doing my PhD is useless if I’m “just going to stay home” or doing something other than academia. Questions and comments like these are not only extremely nosey, but also insulting – to both me and DH! You don’t know why I am making the decisions I am, or what the whole story is, so why do you feel the need to be a total asshole? Do I tell you that you’re a frickin’ idiot for some of the shit you do? No, I don’t.

Do you know what else bothers me, PWHOOE? When you try to infer that it’s not me making my decisions, but that DH is doing it for me. It can’t possibly be that I want to move where he finds a job and actually want to live with my husband, or that we can make such decisions together. No…that’s just impossible! It must be that I’m “following” him, like a lost, stupid puppy, with no aspirations of her own.

Of course, if he were to move where I found a job, that would be okay…but since it’s the other way around, I must not be a feminist and am letting DH walk all over me because he’s a man, and that’s just what they do. They’re all jackasses and treat us like shit, don’t they, PWHOOE?

Oh, and if you can’t tell (since you’re not so good at the picking-up-on-social-cues thing), that was sarcasm.

So, let’s make a deal: you shut your trap when it comes to giving me your asinine (and uneducated) opinions about my life, and I won’t punch you in the face/knee you in the balls. Mkay?

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. (yes, it’s okay to be a Mrs.) Comet Hunter

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